What Your Therapist Says: Words That Heal and Empower
As a therapist, I've had the privilege of helping countless individuals navigate the complex journey of self-discovery and personal growth. One of the most common struggles I see is low self-esteem, and I’ve found that sometimes, the right words can make a profound difference in helping someone feel more connected to their sense of worth.
Here are some of the phrases I’ve shared in therapy sessions over the years that have helped clients boost their self-esteem:
1. “You are enough, just as you are.”
This simple yet powerful phrase is often the first step in helping clients break free from the unrealistic standards they set for themselves. Many people feel they have to "earn" their worth or that they need to change something about themselves to be good enough. Reminding them that they are inherently worthy—just by being themselves—can be a game-changer.
2. “Your feelings are valid.”
Low self-esteem often stems from invalidating one's own emotions or experiences. I’ve noticed that when clients learn to honor their feelings, they can begin to heal. It’s important to acknowledge that their emotions are real, and they deserve to be respected, whether they’re feeling sad, angry, or anxious. It’s okay to feel what they feel.
3. “You’ve made it through every tough day so far.”
Self-doubt tends to flourish when we focus on our perceived failures or shortcomings. I like to remind clients that they’ve overcome challenges before—and they'll continue to overcome challenges in the future. Every difficult day they've lived through is proof of their resilience and strength. This can be an empowering thought, especially during tough times.
4. “You are allowed to set boundaries and say no.”
Many clients struggle with people-pleasing tendencies and feel guilty when asserting their needs or limits. I often remind them that it’s not only okay to say no—it’s essential for their well-being. Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect and reinforces the message that they value themselves enough to protect their own space and energy.
5. “Perfection is not the goal—growth is.”
A lot of clients feel pressure to be perfect in their careers, relationships, or personal lives. I often tell them that perfection is an illusion—it’s growth and progress that matter most. Mistakes and setbacks are part of being human, and they’re stepping stones on the path to self-improvement, not marks of failure.
6. “You have the right to take up space.”
Many people with low self-esteem tend to shrink themselves in social situations or minimize their needs and desires. Acknowledging that they have a right to exist fully in any space—whether it’s at work, in a group, or even at home—is a powerful statement. Everyone deserves to take up space and be heard.
7. “You are not defined by your mistakes.”
So many of my clients feel like their past mistakes are a reflection of their worth. I remind them that making a mistake doesn’t make them a failure. It’s a learning opportunity, not a defining characteristic. They are much more than any single event, and their value isn’t contingent on the errors they’ve made.
8. “Self-compassion is not selfish; it’s necessary.”
It’s common for people to struggle with self-compassion, especially if they’ve been taught to prioritize others’ needs above their own. I remind clients that treating themselves with kindness isn’t selfish—it’s a necessary part of being able to show up for others in a healthy way. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
9. “You are deserving of love, including your own.”
Self-esteem is often tied to how we believe others see us, but it’s vital that clients also believe they are worthy of their own love and affection. I frequently encourage them to nurture their relationship with themselves by practicing self-love and acceptance, just as they would with someone they care deeply about.
10. “It’s okay to celebrate yourself.”
Lastly, I remind clients that it’s okay—and even important—to celebrate their achievements, no matter how small they seem. People with low self-esteem often downplay their successes, believing they aren’t worthy of recognition. I encourage them to take pride in their progress, because each step forward is a victory.
Final Thoughts
The words we speak to ourselves matter. Sometimes, we need to hear them from someone else before we can truly internalize them. As a therapist, I’ve seen how these affirmations and reminders can light a spark of self-worth in even the most self-doubting individuals. If you’re reading this and struggling with low self-esteem, I encourage you to speak these words to yourself and allow them to sink in. You are worthy of kindness, respect, and love—especially from yourself.
Remember, boosting your self-esteem is a journey. With each small step, you’re moving closer to embracing your full potential.